Saturday, December 9

man commits suicide for having bought winrar software using bitcoins 8 years ago, survives and then sues neighbor for calling 911, wins and then invests in bitcoin

i used to be so into being hilarious. the possibility of being funny dictated my decision making in every step of the way. hey blablabla so wanna go do this? hmm, i guess i would like to go watch some shit in that place which the previous owners were handicapped and it is handicapped accessibility to the max and the new owners, even though none of em are handicapped maybe except the guy who's inviting us to do an alien marathon are still living with all that gear in the walls and the ramps in hopes of maybe flipping it in the future to someone who's been jacked so that they'd pay more. this scenario to me is a good day. why? because i already masturbated and as a mammal my brain's already been stimulated enough to want to shut down to conserve energy, you better bring me something that i can work with with ease, so that my indifference is perceived as commentary and valued as social behavior. wait you're telling me it's been a while the last time we'd seen each other and my grandmama misses me? wait that's not funny? tf am i supposed to do with this? I CAN'T STAND YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE LAME, KYS THANKS

lately i've been realizing that for the past couple of years i've been terrible with names and then it hit me. i got kind of dunbar's number'ed cause of all the names and last names and sometimes alternative full names and aliases of pornstars. before i even had the chance to maybe have kids and grandkids and name them and remember their names and aliases.

so,
dear diary

whatever the fuck this day is (yes =c i just rubbed one out)(last time i promise ^;^ ) is the date which i'm starting to commit to a lifestyle that is sans left hand in the pants. make of this promise what you will, future me =P

kys thanks,
you from the past

Monday, October 30

man found frozen solid after mistakingly thinking the ice wouldn't break, foolishly not taking the weight of his hundred pound backpack and hunting gear into account

9 yil falan once problem turkiye sanip amerikaya geldim, 4 yildir falan alaska istemem problemin turkiye degil de cozumun amerika olmadigini mi gosteriyo yoksa 5 yil sonra fkin alaska diye bi post daha mi gelecek onu mu bi dusunulmeli. belki de problem ya da yanlis cevap bloggingdir. ne skime yaziyosam. eghh gunluk memeinin belki de o kadar memey olmadigini insan 30una dayamisken farketmesi nasil bir parental faildir ya da 30unda hala parental fail diye dusunmek nasil bir parental faildir ya da unironically internetteki insandan unironically life answers aramak nasil bi parental faildir, published olmasalar da ben donup bakiyorum bazen iste belki 9 yillik postlara, get me the fuck outta here temali olsalar da icimi isitiyo bazilari. alaskaya yerlesip sogukta icimi isitayim istiyorum bu eski gunluk ile. neden isinmak icin alaska sogugu ariyorum? seems kinda redundant init? neden backnforth ingilizceye gecip duruyorum? cunku i guess yillardir her post gibi bu post da kendime ilerde alaskada isinayim diye. idk these times aren't for men. i wanna hunt and fish n shit. i wanna chop wood because otherwise i'd die. i wanna get outta the bed every morning to make sure i could the next day. i want all the mundane struggles of ancient times. i want meat drying on the rack. i want the burden of the possibility of trespassers. i want a good dog and a reliable pistol. clean air and clean water and i just don't see ever getting right without these things. without these things all i see is boredom and wickedness. i see a man that i got fuck all for respect. only under these conditions do i see wanting to socialize, wanting to check up on people i like, helping out, wanting to try my darnedest to keep a good woman to brighten up my day and warm my bed, wanting to make a kid, wanting to give a head start to something that i love with all i know so that when it's their turn they don't wander aimlessly for 30 years to find their way and when they create something it's even more refined until down the line the offspring is so amazing that they're on youtube for it and their children would be spoiled brats who do drugs and don't give a fuk till they realize they got memed by the climax of the hard work and sacrifices of their lineage half way through. the ejaculate of their making was so pure that any and all things after that point in time is just flat in comparison, then they wade through the flat without so much as a north star to possibly chance upon the land with all to do, then hit em with one last ecksdee before starting from scratch.

and onward goes this little thing called sentience.


cya fags

Friday, October 6

what if huck finn was a millennial boy but in turkey and also mark twain had nothing to do with any of it

moruk müsade et uyiyim amk ya
olm daha niye kalıyosun ki
sabaha kadar konuşalım amk
olm konuştuğun o kadar salak ve iğrenç ki amk
yani neden bunun yerine ikimiz de uyumayalım ki 
saçma amk
nesi saçma moruk ya
sen nasıl anlayabilirsin ki evimde sana ikram ediceğim şeyin içine tükürmediğimi parmağımla bişeler yapıp içine sokmadığımı amk
öyle şeyler yapmadığım her sefer için cennete girmeliyim ama kimsenin en ufak bi fikri yok ve kitapta da yazmıyo öyle girebilirsiniz diye
lan saçma dediğim değil o iğrenç dediğim amk
ha
e ne o zaman saçma amk
ha 
ya
offffffffffffffffffffrfrfrfrprfrpfrpfrpfrp
ya olm babamı kaldırıcan
tamam bak sen anlat ben dinliyorum tamam mı
amk
olm kulak vermiyosun ama
...
neyse ya
...
ne düşünüyosun şu an
...osurursam sıçabilirim onu
aasgasdag amk
sdghdfahf amk
komik ama düşünsene cırcır dediğimizde
hay am
yani her grup insanın cırcır kelimesi var amk
yani böyle başka dilden paylaşılan bi kelime değil başka bi toplumdan gelinip görülmeye alınmaya kalmamış amk
amk eğer problemin paylaşılan bi kelimeyse 1. dünya problemi amk
...
ben gidiyim tuvalete ya böyle uyursam gece uykumda batırmayım heryeri amk
bak tuvalet mesela
ya sus amk
olm
neyse gel de

Saturday, August 26

deneme olarak capssiz koyuyorum baslik bakalim belki ugurlu gelir hadi allahin selametiyle biss

arkadaslar 2017nin agustos ayinin 22si itibariyle normie miyim degil miyim reasonably tarsisabilecegim kimse kalmadi. en sonuncu faithful departed taa cs source ciktiginda serveri var kullanisli olur diye ekleyip bi yil sonraki yaz ayinda knk server duruo mu diye ilk defa konusup iyi knk oldugum bi britbong bi herifti matt diye, nicki taa cs source zamanlarindan beri assrape is taking it too far olan matt 22sinde nick degistirmis matt diye, adi mattmis, ya da bilmiyorum yeni bi netflix dizisi olabilir ustkat komsusuyla alti aydir ask yasarken askin tutku duzeyinin cok fazla yuksek olmasi nedeniyle aralarinda bi kat daha oldugunu ve o komsunun daha guzel oldugunu farketmemis matt diye bi herifin hayatina odakli, bu herife ben de tam boyleyim iste olup nickini 10 yil ustune matt yazdirabilecek bi yeni netflix serisi matt isimli. neyse matt diye ihtiras temali yeni bi netflix serisi olmadigini ve herifin adi oldugunu varsayarak ilerledigimizde goruyoruz ki benim normie miyim degil miyim reasonably tartisabilecegim en son herif artik susceptible to faggotry and being a faggot who lacks the constitution to properly assess where i stand in life with statistics and references regarding hey belki matt dizide avukattır ve temsil ettigi clienti or whatever boyle hic ailesiyle anlasamamis bi kadin olur ve matt representation esnasinda anlar ki aslinda clientinin ailesi hep kizin iyiligini istemistir ve millennial kiz bu bakis acisini hic yakalayamamistir ve matt yakalar ve anlar ki boyle keske benim ailem olsalardi da law schoola yollamazlardi belki ama aile sevgisine bi doyardim olur

Tuesday, June 13

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BEEN ANOTHER YEAR, MOM! I JUST WANT TO FIRST MEME VIDS ON YOUTUBE WITH CLEVER- BUT BLOGSPOT IS FRICKIN GAY! BUT- BUT- BUT- MOOOOOOM

WELP, IT'S OVER. I'M LITERALLY ENTERING 30 THIS NOVEMBER AND I STILL DON'T HAVE 20 BILLION TO MY NAME TO JUST CHILL AND BANG TIER1 PORNSTARS WHENEVER I'M IN THE MOOD FOR SEX WITH PROFESSIONALS. WHO DO I HAVE TO BLAME FOR THIS BLUNDER YOU ASK? ME THAT'S WHO. IT WAS ME WHO TOLD SETH MACFARLANE TO GO FUCK HIMSELF WHEN HE WANTED ME TO WRITE JOKES FOR HIS WESTERN SAYING IT'LL NEVER WORK AS A COMEDY WITHOUT DOC BROWN AND DJANGO POPPING IN INEXPLICABLY AND IT WAS ME WHEN I FAILED TO PHRASE MY DISDAIN TOWARDS THE IDEA OF A SECOND TED DELICATELY ENOUGH AND CALLED IT WHAT YOU WOULD DO WHEN YOU HAVE 2 HOURS TO JUST WARP THROUGH AND YOU HAD DENTAL SURGERY SO YOU CAN'T SMILE BECAUSE THE MUSCLES ON YOUR FACE FALL OUTSIDE OF THE SPHERE OF YOUR CONTROL FOR ABOUT TWO HOURS SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO WATCH THE SECOND TED SINCE YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED THE MUSCLES ON YOUR FACE TO GO ALONG WITH THE KIND OF HUMOR TED 2 IS GOING TO BE PACKING. GOD WHY CAN'T I TRUST THIS FAGGOTS VISION I MEAN HE'S SO HIT AND MISS AND LIKE I LITERALLY LAUGHED MY ASS OFF WATCHING TED 2 AND THAT WESTERN WAS REALLY FUN. SO I, WHO HAS A VERY SELECT A VERY PARTICULAR TASTE IN LAUGHING MY ASS OFF, LAUGHED MY ASS OFF WATCHING A SETH MACFARLANE SEQUEL, AM TURNING 30 AND I DON'T HAVE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO PISS AWAY ON PROFESSIONAL SEX AND IT SOUNDS LIKE THE KINDA DRIVEL THAT FAG WOULD BRING TO THE PEOPLE WHO WRITE JOKES, FOR THEM TO WRITE JOKES FOR AND I WOULD        P    A    S    S